I will destroy you with silence, just as you destroyed my heart.

More and more I feel this day slipping away never getting a chance to play in the rain as it falls so softly on my head I feel it consuming me and my thoughts, with every drop it fills my mind with more and more deep thoughts and consuming my sprit replacing with a void that is unnatural to the sight of other men, this is the effect of the rain that seeps deep in the roots of my confessions of hate and anger know only one way out through my words and through my key strokes on the written battle field of love and truth this game is never going to end caught in an eternal tail spin heading for the open void that never shuts its mouth always spitting words like a chain of destruction that never gets put out quicker and quicker it fills up the space between this and that over the hills and far beyond what we can see to be the free spirited love sick child chasing only what you cannot grasp with a hand of blood staining the white washed burden that is your life full of sorrow and sleeted road ways slipping and spinning your mind as you try to break free of this self made and broken hell that tells you to destroy the things that you have loved so much and now it is gone falling to the dark never to be seen again.

Find me

If you are out there, find me. I have been looking for you and i have done it with little success. I want to know you before i die, i want to hold your hand and kiss your lips. To gaze in to your eyes would make me happier than a mother seeing her new born child for the first time. To pass with out knowing you would be worse than living a thousand lifetimes and loosing you each time. My love, show your self i am waiting. For you my love, who ever you are i will wait for the day we are united in love and arms. My soul shakes and trembles for you, my heart gasps for your warmth, my mind reaches out for yours. I would give my entire worth to be with you. Who ever you are, i love you.

Love is a sickness

Love is a sickness, one that has no cure. Its messes with your mind. You see things you would not normaly see, and you dont see things you normaly would.It makes you sick, makes your heart race and skinn go cold.Love makes you act unlike yourself, it turns you in to a fool.Your do things that make no sense.Your crave things you dont usuly crave.It causes loss of sleep, insomnia.You have a one track mind, always thinking of one thing. Love is a beautiful sickness.

When i think a girl is pretty I will tell her. I do not see the problem with that. Most of the time i get weird responses to it. Why is that? I know im not the best looking guy, but hay...im not that bad. I am not trying to impress you, or do i have any other motives..I just want to let a girl know that i think she is pretty. So if i ever tell you i think your pretty, please know that i am just stating a fact.

A thought

I remember when I was young everything seemed so simple..like it was my place to just have fun and be a kid. I remember the days when I would be so excited to go to school on a Monday and so sad that it was so far from Friday. The moments in life that we remember the most should never be the bad moments but the few good ones that life grants us. I miss the day when i was able to just be...be free. I dont wish to go back, or that i was able to do it again. The memories i have of all the amazing friends i had, and the ones that i still have are the greatest thing about life. I loved, I lost..I won and I moved on, i laughed and I cried. These times I shall never forget, and I am ready to make new memories..new friendships, to love again..and to loose again. Cherish, cherish every moment..every breath, every hug and kiss, all the high fives and fist pounds, The embarrassing moments that you just had to laugh at with everyone else. Most of all, cherish what is to come because that will, in itself, become the good times of the past and you will look back and say....I lived my life according to my plan and my fate.

The crazy lady at my work

This lady comes to my work (i work at a grocery store). She is asking me for something, what it was i have no idea, but she really wanted this something. It was not English she was speaking but some mumbled jumbled up spegacked out language. I ask her a few time to speak English, but to no avail she continues on with her rambling . After about five minutes or so of this nonessential blabbering she signals for me to come closer to her (being that i am six foot seven inches tall) i lower myself to her hight (very short old lady). She begins to tell me this "I cant speak English right now do to the fact that the Government has implanted a Phone tapping device in to my brain" LMAO  

The fall of the great nation

Thus i stand upon the hill of the end
I watch as the Earth begins to crumble 
The oceans bleed
Mountains crumble 
All the creations of God begin to fade
Rendering all to dust 
Unfathomable destruction
Brought upon us from the Heavens 
We are helpless 
It is the end of it all
The sky splits wide open
Terror falls from its maw
Bringers of death destruction  
Erasing what was
Hollow the earth becomes
Shallow are the hearts of many
I hear the angels cry
To test the hearts of man
Awaken the seraphim
Thus I stand on the hill of the end
This  I remember
The fall of great creation 

The voice in my heart

This voice echoes inside my heart

The image flickers in my mind

The smell follows me everywhere

Feelings never seem to fade

Knowing it will never happen again

It breaks me down and renders me alone

The depths of my hatred are shallow

A heightened sense of forgiveness

It is the hand that holds the key

A never ending chase

Echoing in the distant is the faint cry

My ears tuned to it

It is the voice the echoes in my heart

I see the images that haunts my mind

This is the smell that i fear

Thus the end has arrived

Twisted

Harsh words & violent blows

Hidden secrets nobody knows

Eyes are open, hands are fisted

Deep inside I'm warped & twisted

So many tricks & so many lies

Too many whens & too many whys

Nobody's special, nobody's gifted

I'm just me, warped & twisted

Sleeping awake & choking on a dream

Listening loudly to a silent scream

Call my mind, the number's unlisted

Lost in someone so warped & twisted

On my knees, alive but dead

Look at the invisible blood I've bled

I'm not gone, my mind has drifted

Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted

Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow

Today's just yesterday's tomorrow

The sun died out, the ashes sifted

I'm still here, warped & twisted

A beautiful lie

You told me it would be alright

That everything would be ok

That life would work itself out

That this wasn’t to be our fate

But why aren’t things getting better?

Please don’t say that you lied

I believed your promises

But now I’m scared for our lives

You sounded so certain

And I trusted your confidence

Believed your bravado

Now we’ll suffer the consequences

I wish you would have told me

That we had come here to die

Yes, I would have been bereft

But it’s worse to trust a beautiful lie

Believe in me

Believe in me

Dont deceive me

Bury me a hole

6 feet deep

Hold your heart close and

Let me sleep

Believe in me..

Ive wondered for so long

If this is right

Am i going towards or

Away from the light ?

You've met your match

Now its time for defeat

You dont deserve my love

My hearts complete .

I just wanna know if you

Believe in me

Or will you

Deceive me

Bury me a hole

6 feet deep

Hold your heart close

And let me sleep .

Believe in me

Or deceive me

Bury me a hole

6 feet deep

Hold my hand tight

Til i fall asleep .

I need to push back all my fears

To throw them away so i wont drown in tears.

I need to drag myself out of this mess

To tell myself its time to confess

Why all i do is sit and cry

Slit my wrists , waiting to die .

I see all the red , it blurs my mind ,

Maybe it really is my time to die.

Believe in me

Or will you

Deceive me

Bury me a hole

6 feet deep

Hold your heart close

And let me sleep .

Believe in me

Or deceive me

Bury me a hole

6 feet deep

Hold my hand tight

Til i fall asleep .

Falling deep into your gaze

I want to scream, 

To look away.

You wont tell the truth

You only tell lies .

Believe in me ,

Or cause my demise .

Its your fucking choice

So dont screw it up .

You can love me forever

If forevers enough.

Or throw me away

To start over again

I dont give a shit

Its neverENDing

But im taking control of mistakes  ive made

I wont be like you ,

I wont run away.

Packing in dirt ,

Buried alive

No one will ever

Again hear your lies

While im living life ,

Youll be rotting away .

So much for your plan

To cause my dismay ...

Believe in me

Or will you

Deceive me

Bury me a hole

6 feet deep

Hold your heart close

And let me sleep .

Believe in me

And close your eyes .

When you wake up

Youll be burning alive ......

Your hero

Dont worry about the pain

Forget about the sorrow

Nevermind the loneliness

Just remember Today

Will always fade tomorrow 

and just know

I can be your hero

I will be your savior 

Your night on a white horse

shining armor 

Just know

Just know

That i am your hero

This devistation 

So cruel and hated 

My love is belated 

But always there

And just know

please always know

I am your hero

Forever your savior 

coming to your rescue 

On my  white horse

Bright shining armor 

Just know

Please always know

That i am your hero

I am your hero

Please always know

Ill stand next to you

Always your hero

For ever and always your hero

I am your hero

Your hero